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How to Talk to Your Teen About Vaping: 10 Tips From Dr. Nicole Stelter

Blue Shield of California director of Behavioral Health helps parents navigate this growing concern.

This news story is also available in Spanish.

Dr Nicole Stelter
Dr. Nicole Stelter, Blue Shield of California

Youth vaping is a significant challenge in the United States,* with more than 1.63 million high school and middle school students using e-cigarettes. Parents are now faced with the challenge of discouraging their children from experimenting with vaping — or even helping them quit, if they’ve already developed an addiction.

Dr. Nicole Stelter, Ph.D., LMFT, director of Behavioral Health Clinical Strategy and Programs at Blue Shield of California, shares practical tips for parents to address tobacco use in youth — whether prevention or elimination of vaping.

Tips for prevention:

  1. Set a good example, and clear expectations. Make your home smoke-free and vape-free. If you smoke or vape, commit to quitting — it’s never too late.
  2. Educate early. Talk about the dangers of vaping and tobacco use. Emphasize that e-cigarettes contain nicotine, which can have lasting effects on the brain, including changes in concentration and behavior.
  3. Talk to your child’s teacher or school. See if they have any curriculum geared at the prevention of tobacco use, or any on-campus programs.
  4. It’s never too early or too late to start the conversation. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 410,000 middle school students and 1.21 million high school students use e-cigarettes. Looking for a conversation starter? Thursday, November 21 is The Great American Smokeout, in which the American Cancer Society encourages smokers to quit for the day, with the hope of quitting for a lifetime.
  5. Prepare for peer pressure. Some teens start vaping because they want to fit in or because the people around them smoke. Discuss how to manage temptation when around their peers. A few ways to deal with peer pressure include:
    Vaping infographic
    • Plan ahead: Teens know who in their social circle vapes, as well as when and where (like after school, in a certain gathering spot). Help them avoid these situations when possible, so they don’t have to push back in front of a crowd.
    • Practice ahead: Similarly, you can help your teen “practice ahead” by role-playing how to say no and how to assert themselves. Have your teen practice sharing that vaping is not for them, as they’re focused on keeping their body and mind healthy.
    • Team up: Often, your teen has select friends they can pull aside for a 1:1 conversation and be more direct about saying no. Sharing that the friendship with that person is important, and that there’s hurt involved when there’s disrespect for boundaries helps create an ally in settings where peer pressure can be high.

Tips for quitting:

  1. Be patient and listen, start with empathy. You want to start a conversation and not deliver a lecture. Approach from a place of concern and love, rather than judgment.
    • Don’t start the conversation with “We need to talk.” Instead, ask your child what they think about vaping. Likewise, you can comment on something you are both witnessing in the moment, like someone smoking.
    • Be ready to answer their questions about vaping, like: Why don’t you want me to vape? What’s the big deal? Isn’t vaping safe?
  2. Get informed about nicotine addiction. Understanding that it’s an addiction — and not just a bad habit — can help parents overcome frustration when helping teens quit.
  3. Find your tribe. Seek out supportive adults who will reenforce your message to help your child quit vaping. This can be extended to any trusted, supportive adults or groups: family members, godparents, and counselors or coaches, to name a few.
  4. Encourage positive coping mechanisms. The nicotine from vaping sometimes covers up hard feelings and stress. This is part of how it can be addicting. Discuss the emotional and social triggers behind vaping. Suggest alternative coping strategies like exercise, box breathing or mindfulness practices, and support your teen if/when a bigger stress or mental health issue surfaces
  5. Leverage Blue Shield’s support programs. Blue Shield recognizes the growing issues of youth vaping and tobacco use, and is here to help.
    • Blue Shield is working with Truth Initiative's "This is Quitting" program, which offers daily texts and on-demand support for ages 13-18. Blue Shield members can text VapeFree4Me to 88709 for support.
    • Individuals over age 18 can visit Blue Shield’s lifestyle medicine platform, Wellvolution, at no cost to most members, for access to smoking cessation programs like QuitSmart Mindfully and X Program.

Remember, you are not alone when supporting your child through the process of quitting vaping or ceasing tobacco use. While it can feel daunting, there is some good news — according to a recent study from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and Food and Drug Administration (FDA), tobacco use declined in high school students from 2023 to 2024.

Keeping your teen nicotine-free and/or helping your teen quit is a journey, and taking advantage of available resources is a great first step. 

*In the original version of this story, we stated that youth vaping is on the rise, but in fact tobacco use has declined in high school students from 2023 to 2024.